Friday 16 March 2018

Funny not Ha Ha!

I was inspired to write this after reading someone else post on The Mighty mental health BLOG.  My experience being different to them.  
I had a wobble yesterday and I think it was because I f&*ked up taking my medications the previous evening as well as experienced some unsettling news, I felt blue and I felt vulnerable, as if my resilience and stability was under threat.  I would just like to try and get across that a medication regime can at times be hard to follow and missing Meds can pull the rug from under someone................ hope that makes sense.
I take medications for my bipolar disorder. These medications are taken to help me keep emotionally and mentally regulated and grounded in my life.  Due to the concoction of pills the best time for me to take my pills every day is about 4/5pm.  This is due to the sedative nature of some of my Meds.   Every day around 5pm I take my pills BUT sometimes especially if Im buzzing/manic I can forget to take my pills, until much later or not at all ( very rare ).  The problem is that the disorder itself is disruptive and can make a daily routine task difficult to always adopt.   If I don't take my pills or take them at a different time it really knocks me off my stride.   I use a pillbox in the kitchen by the mobile phone recharging as that seems to be a really good place as a reminder to me.
Every now and then, something happens and I miss my pills. This then means that I'm basically not optimal that evening and the next day, taking pills later affects sleep in a major way AND not taking them at all has an even more exreme affect on my next day.  Im not expecting sympathy because obviously if you are prescribed medicine then the expectation is that you will take them religiously in order to get the affect that is expected BUT hopefully this post will just help you understand that though there are peaks and troughs with any mental health disorder there can also be self inflcted minor hills and valleys as well.
I can get "funny" feelings when missing pills,   "funny" feelings are mostly the physical things and sensations that happen within me. These sensations usually come on between 3-7 hours after I have missed my daily dose of medication.  The sleep affecting stuff generally impacts the next day.
"Funny" feelings:
1. Sight gets a little cloudy
2. A sensation of dizziness at times.
3. Odd skin sensations.  Some of this can be the prickling anxiety that I forgot my Meds and took them later off schedule.
4. Clenched fists or other muscle tightness.
5. Digestive issues. Reflux etc, this one is very odd.
6. Tightness in the chest.
7. Sounds become far away or like waves in my ears.
8. Brain farts, I seem to become more forgetful, more randomly applied to my work
9. Just a feeling of not being "with it."
10. A sensation of separateness from what is happening currently.
So these "funny" feelings are not so funny and not all appear every time, so I make sure to get back on my regular medication routine as soon as I can.  This is I guess just another aspect of navigating your mental health that has to be factored into your life, really need to keep on top of medication regimes.

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