##12. Hopelessness / Suicidal Thoughts
For me, I can spot when I’m
depressed but I can seem to do very little about it, but I know I’m
depressed. A telling symptom of a
depressive episode associated with bipolar is an overwhelming feeling of
sadness and hopelessness. We can fall into a state of depression and this then
means that the symptoms flip from those associated with manicness/mania (where sufferers can have heightened
happiness and euphoria). You will often quiet quickly become sluggish/fuggish
and won’t see much point in trying to hit goals. Another common symptom is a near-total loss
of interest in activities you once enjoyed, music, books, film, children,
friends, I’m told this includes sexual activity. This can be seen as juxtaposed
to what happens during a manic episode, when sufferers tirelessly pursue their
interests and may engage in compulsive, excessive behaviour.
Sufferers with bipolar disorder
will often feel sad and depressed, feel hopeless. I have never felt so hopeless
as to have plotted anything suicidal however, and I need to be careful regards
this as members of my family will read this blog, I have had thoughts about how
much better off people would be without me.
I’m worth more dead due to pensions and death in service benefits BUT
I’m not! Because ultimately we are of
such great emotional value to our friends and family who love us that we must
absolutely fight the devil on our shoulder here. Suicidal thoughts can be extremely dangerous,
since bipolar disorder also commonly includes compulsiveness. A sufferer
feeling despondent to the point of suicide may have the compulsion to act on
that, it’s really key that we can stay aware such that we don’t find ourselves
in this place.
If
these symptoms present themselves to you to any degree, please seek medical or
professional attention immediately. Sufferers
with suicidal ideas or exhibiting suicidal behavior need quick and keen
interventions to tackle these ideas/behaviours.
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