Vulnerability
Hopefully this stream makes sense ……………….
Sadly I think Im more vulnerable than most,
some friends play this back to me as they feel that when talking with me they
hear about the good and the bad of life, most people responding to ‘are you
okay?’ with ‘Im fine’, I’ll generally respond with ‘okay-ish’ or I’ll certainly
paraphrase where I currently am navigating my mental health, I think that’s because
Im very aware of where my headspace is.
This means that when a lot of friends talk to me there isn’t as much
room for small talk as there would be with others, this can mean that people
view you as needy though luckily my close friend views me as vulnerable and is
generally very supportive.
Ive just navigated through a dodgy BiPolar
episode containing mania, anxiety and depression (low mood), I think Im out the
other side, doesn’t mean Im 100% though as Im still vulnerable, I think this is
because I struggle to attain a position of resilience with my mental health, Im
keen to try and stay at work, though Ive had 3 major BiPolar episodes this year
Ive only had 12 sick days off work which is a much better result than previous
years but it takes a lot of energy and it doesn’t mean Im at work and
100%. When explaining to my Mum &
Dad where I am with my BiPOlar I think they view it as quite Binary, at work =
Well, off work = Unwell. Its not that
simple.
I’ve now spent a lot of my, especially recent,
working life letting my mental health consume me and Im trying to fight back
against that at the moment. Tools in the
toolbox work for me but I don’t often get the residual benefit so I don’t get
the resilience in place when Im in a better place headspace wise than at the
peak of an episode. I don’t really want
to be known as the sick one but the Spoiler is that I am the sick one generally
as Im navigating my condition > 50% of the time. However I have learnt in recent times that
there is no shame in being the sick one and no shame talking about it, in fact
feedback from talking about it is that this helps people in the workplace so that’s
encouraging benefit of being ‘Out’ with my mental health I guess.
So in fact being vulnerable gives me an outlet
to be honest about my condition and the affects on my working practice, I can
discuss creeping anxiety with work collegaues, I can talk about my working
day/week with my Manager and being vulnerable shows others that they are not
alone. Our navigation of our conditions
will no doubt differ but perhaps an honest discourse about mental health is a
worthwhile benefit offshoot from this approach.
Navigate the Dark, Celebrate the small
Victories, Repeat
Tony
3 comments:
I agree, I think it is a case of being 'out' with mental health these days, and by doing this showing others it is ok to talk and be honest. The more this is done the more both those with mental health issues and those around them will fare better with coping strategies. The more that this is talked about at work especially, the more those around can support and ultimately get those with issues working more productively and able to be in the workplace more often.
To my son and daughter very well said and i hope it helps a lot of people to be honest and willing to try and work through it.I do know that when you go to work your not 100 per cent well but the effort is a plus to your mental health.Love you both very much Xx
Mum, I think you & Dad are much more clued in nowadays regards my work headspace
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