Its great that
people these days want to break down barriers and taboos about mental
health. Usually this means talking about depression as many are affected
by this in some way. BiPolar is also surprisingly common, they say
perhaps 1 in 100 have the condition though many are undiagnosed. BiPolar
can have depressive mood swings but also it has mania which means the treatment
is different to just taking anti depressants. I’m unsure that people
understand BiPolar that well and just use the term too commonly to describe
erratic behaviour or perhaps severe mood swings.
Becoming unwell
I was undiagnosed for 20 years, in
fact until 5 years ago when a Psychiatrist put together my health history and
my current episode and diagnosed me. Some people can associate an initial
diagnosis with specific triggers, I have never really been able to do
that. For me there are always a cocktail of things going on from work,
personal life and my catastrophising headspace. As well as the mania and
depression I also have high anxiety as part of navigating my mental
health. For 20 years, not very often I had been signed off work
occasionally with Stress, Anxiety, Depression, it seemed vaguely cyclical and
the only medication given was anti depressants.
When I’m manic I
don’t usually spot it, partly because my personality traits can be similar as
I’m an extrovert, but my symptoms of mania are often high energy, talkative,
jumping quickly from one thought to another, interrupting people, walking
around at 100 mph at home and in the office, filling my diary with social
events, buying tons of stuff on ebay ………..etc………. I really need spotters
at work and at home as I don’t see mania. I can often feel/see low mood
and anxiety coming though and I work to navigate it. With the
mania I have often had to be seen by the Mental Health crisis team to evaluate
where I am and what can I do to stabilise, stabilising being really hard and
often a depressive crash coming after the manic episode.
Going back to work
After being off for 6 weeks this
time, most of which is quite hazy to me as I was heavily medicated, I was eager to
return to work. I like my job, love might be too strong a word, despite being asked by Mental Health nurses if it's really what I wanted to do.
Going back to work
was scary; I was nervous. My boss has been incredible, HR have been supportive, explaining that no one was holding judgement of me
and that they really wanted my return to work to be a success, that they wanted
to try and do something different with this return to work rather than landing
me how they have previously. I’m grateful for this and was pleased to be
able to have such an open conversation. One of the things I’m worried
about is that I’m nearly 55 years old and it seems that my episodes are getting
nearer together now, they used to be 3 or 4 years apart but they seem more
regular than that now and I really really don’t want my last years at work to
be my worst years at work, to go out from my employment on a real low
!?! This has me in tears with the Boss which is very
unusual. However I digress and all I can say is that I’m getting
really good support at work with a return to work plan and some different work
to do than my usual work to see if there is something different that I can do.
I’m aiming through
a return to work plan to become as robust and resilient in the workplace as I
can be and to try and not have a hugely extended time away from work as that’s
not good for me either. Last year I had an episode and I managed to get
my work duties adjusted without being off work for a 3,4 week period to try and
get back to a good place where I was making a contribution in the
workplace. One thing that is often a hard battle is when my short term
memory just refuses to play ball, I’m then having to write everything down at
work and home.
Disclosure
I'm a pretty open
person and so Im ‘out’ at work as
someone with BiPolar, I’m not saying that this is an avenue that everyone would
be comfortable in the workplace with? I choose to tell people mostly
because I’m always keen that people have as much information about what they
are dealing with in a colleague, Im sometime afraid that it might come across
as needy, its meant to be helpful and also to help other people as I’ve had
folks contact me in the workplace and hopefully see me as a confidant for them
as they navigate their own mental health challenges.
I have been lucky
enough to be asked to talk to 2 Senior Leaders in the company about my BiPolar
and I saw that as a great opportunity to push that those who navigate mental
health conditions can be positive members of the workforce as part of a diverse
workforce. At the same time I appreciate that it can be disruptive when
an episode occurs especially if some of the behaviours are evident in the
workplace before efforts are taken to address them.
I do have to keep
fighting with my catastrophising headspace that I’m not less than everyone else
because of my condition, I often think that I contribute less than everyone
else.
Warning signs
I'll normally disclose
my condition at some point with anyone I work with closely, as I need their
support in keeping an eye on me. I need spotters like my Boss, close
colleagues and family to spot if I’m drifting into mania. Whilst I manage my condition relatively well I
think, I still like to have someone watching out in
case they spot any symptoms. These include: higher energy than normal; working
long hours; stress; talking very fast; jumping between thoughts, and not making
sense.
Finding fellowship
I’ve found that a number of us at
work have bonded over mental health and that we support each other off the side
of our desks and as part of the Wellbeing programme at work. Its really
important I feel to have these relationships in the workplace if you are lucky
enough that that happens.
What you can do
I think the best advice that I can
give is if someone chooses to confide in yourself, if you are worried about
someone else, take it seriously and don’t treat it like its some debilitating
ailment that you are scared of.
Perhaps ask "are you okay?" if you feel someone is
acting out of character. You probably want to do this in an
appropriate 1:1 setting, perhaps get someone out for a cup of tea, paying
attention and being willing to listen will often mean a lot to a colleague but
it may mean a degree of commitment on your part.
Almost everyone is
on the mental health spectrum, the human being is susceptible to stress, moods,
anxiety, worry it’s just that some people bounce back naturally and some people
less so. Those with prevailing mental health challenges are just
another diverse part of the human condition.
Hope this made
sense & helps,
Tony
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