'twas the night before Brexit ( poem/parody )

'twas the night before Brexit
And all through the House
Not a creature was stirring
Not even the Louse
The Primeminister sat down at Chequers with care
She could never be sure what Boris had done to her chair
The Cabinet were nestled all snug in their beds
Whilst naked visions of Mogg & Gove danced in their heads

Theresa in her stillettos and Raab being dab
Thinking about the DUP and what they would nab
When out on the lawn there was such a clatter
David Davis voice shouted out 'whats the matter'
Away to the window did May with a dash
As Juncker appeared on the lawn in a flash
Michael Barnier waved papers and made quite a show
Whilst Boris & Starmer stood there toe to toe

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Jeremy Corbyn in his leathers with cheer
With a soundbite, he appeared so lively and quick
As he made his Brexit case and the Remainers quite sick
More rapid than Eagles, Jeremy Hunt came
And he called on all his Mps by name
Now Grayling Now Hammond Now Hancock Now Soubry
On Evans On Lewis On Liam Fox On McVey
To the top of Number Ten to the top of the Wall
Now all you Tories come answer Mays Call
She has you a Brexit that may not be what youd grasp
But you dont want Boris Hard One, it would sting like an asp

As Barniers barbs like a wild hurricane fly,
When Brexit meets an obstacle, it seems to reach to the Sky;
Socialmedia debates are raging out there too,
The Cabinets falling apart even with the Chief Whips glue,
And then in a twinkling, I heard that the truth
was that Boris was prancing with each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the corridors of Westminster Theresa was bound:
She was dressed all in red, from her head to her foot,
Rees Mogg and Davis chuckled, imagined her covered in soot;
A bundle of Memos were flung in her sack,
And she look'd like a peddler just opening her pack:
Her eyes- How they twinkled, her simple and merry
It felt like our Theresa had been at the Sherry
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
Her face was ashen and as white as the snow,
Barnier had stumped her as she grinded her teeth
On the altar of Brexit she laid a great wreath.
Tusk was broad faced with a little round belly,
Theresa crying ‘Irish backstop’ all over the telly,
Chubby and plump like a jolly old elf
Boris still promised all the money for the National Health
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know we had plenty to dread.
Theresa spoke not a word, she continued to work,
Arguing with the DUP & with Boris the jerk
And laying her finger aside of her nose
And giving a nod, from her desk she arose
She sprung to the Commons desk to announce with a whistle
The SNP listened hard with their suits dressed with thistle,
We heard her exclaim, as she summoned her might,
Brexit means Brexit and still my Chequers plan is right.

<FIN>

The Black Art of Normal

So I’ve called this BLOG ‘The Art of Normal’ because I think something we with Mental Health challenges to navigate ask ourselves ‘What is Normal?’,’Whatever Normal Is?’, it seems in reality being ‘Normal’ is a Black Art and actually I guess for me it feels like it might mean being Bland.   What I actually feel, after a number of years contemplating my BiPolar II, is that I want to be more even headspace wise and more resilient before, during and after episodes.   I think that’s probably the best I can ask for.

I’ve said before that the key thing to hold onto when you are in a dark place is that its likely that ‘You Are Not Alone (YANA)’, there will be folks facing the same challenges that you can perhaps link in with online or you may directly know but your Family & Friends are probably more forgiving that you think about your condition, some family’s are admittedly harder work than others though. I though have asked myself, “When will it end?” more times than I like to think. I, too, have questioned why I can’t just be “normal.”   If you’ve been in a dark place for a long time now, I want you to know you’re not alone.  It can be hard to know how to escape the darkness, or if it’s even possible.

I guess the twee advice here is ‘Look for the Light’, whatever lights your life up generally, for me currently my Grandchildren can spark a smile when nothing else can.  Reading a moldly old comic book can do it too or an old wobby set episode of Tom Baker Doctor Who.

I understand that when we want to feel ‘normal’ we can also feel ‘hopeless’.

Here are some posts from The Mighty that may help you: -

https://themighty.com/?utm_source=newsletter_custom&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Voices_Suicide#post=5bad958ca1436600c1f99d2a

https://themighty.com/?utm_source=newsletter_custom&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Voices_Suicide#post=5bacf7ca39a52c00fd855b49

https://themighty.com/?utm_source=newsletter_custom&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Voices_Suicide#post=5bacbfafb905a6011b8fce6b

Resources like the Mighty can be useful when you feel hopeless, we will be exposed to Happy & Sad however we need to hold onto the Happy stuff as hard as we can and grab more of it.

Peace.

    Tony

21 Days Later ................. World Mental Health AwarenessDay today

Today is World Mental Health Awarenss Day.

In the Office Im facilitating a challenge with folks with a colleague called '21 Days of Happiness'.
It might sound a bit twee but when another colleague did this earlier this year in the workplace everyone who did the challenge saw an uplift in their happiness, we are getting them to do a survey before and after to self assess levels of happiness in order to know.

I thought as quite a few people have been reading my BLOG lately that people might benefit from this challenge so I'm going to set you up for that and it's up to you whether you have a go.

The 21 Days challenge is also based on the fact that its perceived that it takes 21-30 days for something to become a habit, I think its also bandied around that if you spend 10000 hours on something that you become an expert.  Don't know about that as I've spent way more than 10000 hours as a human being and I don't think I'm an expert.

So, these are the tasks if you want to try the challenge:-

	Exercise
Wednesday 10th October

• Mindfulness – There are many documented benefits to meditation including reducing the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety. According to Acor, meditation also allows us to get over our cultural ADHD, that has us focusing on more than one thing at once. It allows the mind to quiet and opens us up to new possibilities.

Thursday 11th October	Write three new things you are grateful for – This helps train your brain to scan the world for the positive things first, rather than focusing on the negative things. Gratitude has long been linked to increased happiness and it’s surprising how quickly your life can improve with this simple practice.
Friday 12th October	Journal about one positive thing that has happened in the past 24 hours, this process allows your brain to relive the positive experience. There are many options for journaling, online with sites such as Penzu or a hand-written journal. Writing by hand, rather than digitally, has been shown to increase learning, which might be helpful when you’re trying to change thought patterns.
Saturday 13th October	Exercise for at least 15 minutes –  exercise increases your levels of dopamine, energy, and helps improve your overall sense of well being.
Sunday 14th October	Mindfulness – There are many documented benefits to meditation including reducing the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety. According to Acor, meditation also allows us to get over our cultural ADHD, that has us focusing on more than one thing at once. It allows the mind to quiet and opens us up to new possibilities.
Monday 15th October	Random acts of kindness – In Acor’s study, he had participants write one positive email that praised someone in their social network, but there are many ways to perform random acts of kindness. Get creative and have fun, you will not only make someone else’s day, but it will improve your own.
Tuesday 16th October	Write three new things you are grateful for – This helps train your brain to scan the world for the positive things first, rather than focusing on the negative things. Gratitude has long been linked to increased happiness and it’s surprising how quickly your life can improve with this simple practice.
Wednesday 17th October	Journal about one positive thing that has happened in the past 24 hours
Thursday 18th October	Exercise for at least 15 minutes
Friday 19th October	Mindfulness
Saturday 20th October	Random acts of kindness
Sunday 21st October	Write three new things you are grateful for
Monday 22nd October	Journal about one positive thing that has happened in the past 24 hours
Tuesday 23rd October	Exercise for at least 15 minutes
Wednesday 24th October	Mindfulness
Thursday 25th October	Random acts of kindness
Friday 26th October	Write three new things you are grateful for
Saturday 27th October	Journal about one positive thing that has happened in the past 24 hours
Sunday 28th October	Exercise for at least 15 minutes
Monday 29th October	Mindfulness
Tuesday 30th October	Write what you are grateful for from the 21 days of Happiness challenge – perhaps journal this but equally think about a BLOG or a POEM or anything creative as writing goes

Good Luck if you choose to try this.

Tony

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Its national poetry day today so here is a very quickly written poem for the occasion from myself:-

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=========

I thought I’d write a poem

So I’m getting in the mood

I’ve took off all my clothes

And I’m writing in the nude

Did that get your attention

I guess it probably depends

On what you see in your head

And how close we are as Friends

Maybe I should write something serious

Something that brings a tear to your eye

Romance you from the written page

But I’m not that kind of Guy

I could right about things Politic

Surely that would be quite drab

However I think the consensus is

That Polticians right now are bad

So here we are on Poetry day

A page to fill in front of me

I’ll let my character fill the page

I thinks that’s probably key

Whats the most important thing

That I could say to you today

I think I would tell you to be more kind

Every single day ………….

Written 4^th October 2018

https://nationalpoetryday.co.uk/about-npd/

........& now for something completely different ?!?

Sometimes being creative can be a real cartharsis for someone navigating mental health, I love that I'm allowed to shout on stage with my friends occasionally:-

Our band is called Spewtum, its 4 old Punks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgXyW5tS5kk Spewtum @ Capstock 2018 , apologies for sound quality as it all depends on where the camera is compared to the speakers .........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG155Q-NQjg   This sees the first ever Capstock stage invasion :)

Enjoy or Endure , you decide  x x 

Suicidal Thoughts ( thoughts on thoughts )

This is going to be difficult because once I publish this then my family can read it, so I approach this BLOG with trepidation as it’s a subject that Ive only lightly touched on with all my family.
How do you talk to other folks about Suicidal Thoughts who have never experienced them before?   I told my dad last year: “When I say I’ve had a good month, it means a haven’t been consumed with thoughts on failure or even fleeting thoughts on dying.”  My Dad is straight up working class and has never struggled with his Mental Health as far as I can tell, I think it may be different for my Mum, though undiagnosed  — and it’s often hard for me to explain to them what it’s like to deal with navigating my BiPolar.   They are though always very concerned about me.

Let me be straight, Its very rare I have ‘people would be better off without me’ thoughts and I’m also a coward so Im not sure I could ever do anything about it.  I really cant get my head around self harm for instance as I just have no frame of reference at all.  I imagine that its  quite human to want to end our struggling and protect others from our struggle by absenting ourself from Life, it’s the very extreme of hiding away under the bed covers for weeks on end, just that you cannot come back from it. I know many who struggle as I do. I know many struggle greater than I do, most I imagine, some less. I know that this is first world problems & my heart hurts when I see the Injustices that other nations have and I have all the material stuff and benefits of the UK.  While I know I’m not alone in my frustration, I can feel alone even when surrounded by friends and family, that sounds counter intuitive I bet. Almost always the thoughts of Carol & the children rush my mind and save me from myself, so though I have absolutely catastrophic thoughts about professional failure I don’t have to deal with the stark reality of Suicidal thoughts very often. I think that whomever or whatever you put before yourself, is what you need to hold onto in those moments. By that I mean those you hold up as the most precious people in your life.  Allow yourself to feel everything but don’t live constantly in a Rut of your negative thoughts if you can absolutely do something to pull back from them, the quaint phrase that everyone uses is ‘This too shall pass’ and its true but in the dark moments you don’t feel that.  It may oft pass in a very painful way for you but it will pass and you have to foregive yourself at that point. Foregive yourself the awful things that you contemplated, the awful outcomes you fleetingly sought.  Passing out the other side of the dark means that you can tell people that things can & do get better ………………..

Depression is of course, tinged with feelings of great sadness, the worst though can be the numbness, the inability to get out of bed and face the world. Whether life was/is good or bad, I could be numb to it all. Again the everyone is better off without me thoughts can surface in your everyday life.    You can feel that you only have negative energy and negative thoughts.  Depression is a Liar and a Thief, It lies about your head and it steals your time.   The problem is the warped thinking can become your truth,  we have to call this imposter out in our lives  if we are to tackle what might lead us down the rabbit hole into Suicidal thoughts.  As ever all this is easier said than done.  I’ve never looked to take my own life, I’ve never planned it like others, I have thought about it,  even thinking about is a scary visceral reminder that thoughts and thinking are very powerful even when they are not facts, problem is with the small number of colleagues and friends that have acted this out I have only ever found out about their Suicidal thoughts too late, far too late, that’s not to say that you can have any Psychic thinking ( we all know that Psychics don’t exist don’t we / they are con artists so we cant have that ), what we can try to have is I guess a degree of discernment with ourselves and our friends.
This Blog post is as much a reminder and reassurance for myself as it is for anyone reading it. I’m not a mental health expert, but I do know how it feels to be in a really dark place and how challenging it can be. First of all, although it might feel like it, you are most definitely not alone, YANA, write that down somewhere and refer to it often, ‘You are Not Alone’. ALSO ‘This too Shall pass’, maybe very very painful but it will pass, there will be better days.  I know you can feel like the loneliest person out there; even when you are surrounded by loads of people, you can still feel alone and empty inside. But that’s not normally the factual, you feel it, but feelings are not facts. There are lots of people who want to help if you ask them. You need to let your family and friends love and support you through your difficult times when you are having really negative thoughts. That’s what they would want to be there for, they would not want to find out about your Suicidal thoughts too late, finding out too late for them is going to be the most painful experience in their loves if that happens.  I now have an agreement with both my Sons and my Wife that I will up front tell them when Im blue and I will Whatsapp them how Im feeling when I enter into a really Rut tyope episode, did that recently and it was actually uplifting when I could tell them that I had come out the other side.  Don’t feel like you’re a “burden” to them. Think of it like this: They would much rather help support you through a difficult time than not know about it and find stuff out when its too late, don’t let your friends contend with your absence and the feelings that they are too late, reach out if you can, please. It can be scary being honest about Suicidal thoughts, about any aspect of your Mental Health,  but it’s essential, particularly with Mental Health professionals who are aiding your navigation with medication and therapy. Friends are normally pretty hard to shock, really,  honestly, they are, you will be surprised how they will come alongside you even though your head is saying that they wont want to, friends and family just normally will be there.

Now the twee bits again:-
YANA – ‘You are Not Alone’.         ‘This too shall Pass.’               ‘The world needs you, and you are too valuable to lose.’        Work wise – ‘You are a Unique diverse part of your work force.’

Peace.

VulnerableMan ....... Superhero (sic)

Vulnerability

Hopefully this stream makes sense ……………….

Sadly I think Im more vulnerable than most, some friends play this back to me as they feel that when talking with me they hear about the good and the bad of life, most people responding to ‘are you okay?’ with ‘Im fine’, I’ll generally respond with ‘okay-ish’ or I’ll certainly paraphrase where I currently am navigating my mental health, I think that’s because Im very aware of where my headspace is.   This means that when a lot of friends talk to me there isn’t as much room for small talk as there would be with others, this can mean that people view you as needy though luckily my close friend views me as vulnerable and is generally very supportive.

Ive just navigated through a dodgy BiPolar episode containing mania, anxiety and depression (low mood), I think Im out the other side, doesn’t mean Im 100% though as Im still vulnerable, I think this is because I struggle to attain a position of resilience with my mental health, Im keen to try and stay at work, though Ive had 3 major BiPolar episodes this year Ive only had 12 sick days off work which is a much better result than previous years but it takes a lot of energy and it doesn’t mean Im at work and 100%.  When explaining to my Mum & Dad where I am with my BiPOlar I think they view it as quite Binary, at work = Well, off work = Unwell.  Its not that simple.

I’ve now spent a lot of my, especially recent, working life letting my mental health consume me and Im trying to fight back against that at the moment.  Tools in the toolbox work for me but I don’t often get the residual benefit so I don’t get the resilience in place when Im in a better place headspace wise than at the peak of an episode.  I don’t really want to be known as the sick one but the Spoiler is that I am the sick one generally as Im navigating my condition > 50% of the time.  However I have learnt in recent times that there is no shame in being the sick one and no shame talking about it, in fact feedback from talking about it is that this helps people in the workplace so that’s encouraging benefit of being ‘Out’ with my mental health I guess.

So in fact being vulnerable gives me an outlet to be honest about my condition and the affects on my working practice, I can discuss creeping anxiety with work collegaues, I can talk about my working day/week with my Manager and being vulnerable shows others that they are not alone.  Our navigation of our conditions will no doubt differ but perhaps an honest discourse about mental health is a worthwhile benefit offshoot from this approach.  

Navigate the Dark, Celebrate the small Victories, Repeat

Tony