Anxiety in the UK

I'm not sure whats going on with my head at the moment, the anxiety with my BiPolar II has got a pernicious grip on me it seems.  I was meant to be at a party Saturday night which I didnt go to and band practice today which I didnt go to.  I missed work Weds thru Friday last week where I was just staring at the screen and not able to really work out what im doing with stuff that 3 weeks earlier I think I was fine with, like the rug was pulled out from under my confidence ....... hard to explain, hard to understand why?  I often cant spot triggers, its not simple.  At the Mental Health appointment on Friday we discussed navigating the condition and again the phrase was aired that the fog is temporary and the landscape is permanent.  I see that more and more as the years pass.  I've had immediate meds changed and I hope that means I can attack next week better, I hope so. 

Why can anxiety be so pernicious: -

Anxiety provoking thoughts seem to be resistant, rather than getting better the more thought you give them, they often get worse.

Albert Einstein has said we can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them, thats right as its probably warped thinking that has created the anxietal thinking and unless I can change my thinking, additional thinking is often stuck in the processes that created the anxiety.   This is where mindfulness comes in but its not a silver bullet and sometimes I find there isn't a huge residual benefit.  I Still try to use tools from my mental health toolbox though.

When we behave in ways that reflect the anxiety we have then we have our Nervous System still holding the fight or flight prickliness response and the anxiety persists.  Im told we need to access our parasympathetic nervous system and behave as though everything is fine, this is easier said than done, often the problem with reading around subjects. The advice in books sounds simple but putting it into practice is hard.  I must have 8/9 books on Anxiety and BiPolar now and often the advice sounds so obvious.

Research has I think supported that when you ask someone not to think about something, they think about that thing,  I find that pernicious about Anxiety.  I cant kid it, it seems I cant fool it.  Though its fooling me I guess.  Rumination during anxiety seems to make the anxiety deeper, like a record groove, it stays there, stuck.   

Apologies if this comes through as a whining blog, its not meant to, I was trying to think through by writing whats going on with me at the moment.  Trying to navigate the condition.

So many tools, so frustrating progress seems the pattern ............

Tools I often try to use: -
Mindfulness
CBT
Exercise ( walking the dog )
Throwing bad thoughts away  ( writing them on paper and putting in the bin )
Visualise a positive outcome  ( easier said than done )
Counting your Blessings
Bath before Bedtime ( to help Sleep )
Serve ( help others, service aides empathy, empathy aides well being )
Write poetry ( creativity ) song lyrics

Wish there was something that helped with short term Memory

~FIN~