Some folks have asked me why haven't I blogged recently after the hope and the progress. Well that's been the issue, I returned to work and it didn't quite work out how I had hoped.
I've been less communicative and suffered a huge bout of lethargy alongside the depression and anxiety, also after I had my blip into overwhelming anxiety after my 2nd 2 hours !!!!!! at work, then I had an appointment with a psychiatrist from out of the blue. This resulted in a diagnosis a notch up from where I had thus far and changes to Meds, its took the wind out of my sails that i previously had and has probably ramped up the stress fro my wife as I really plummeted ...... Im unsure what to say at the moment as obviously my Therapists, GP, Psychiatrist and MHN are spinning this as good news / progress in and off itself but Im struggling to see it from their view point still at the moment.
I'm about 50% into the uplift in my medications and I do think I have made some limited progress, robustness and resilience is possibly a different matter entirely as I sunk into rumination very quickly last time around.
I guess this isn't really helping folks who have been talking to me as I think on the return to work days I had some pretty productive conversations with folks, then it all just slipped away.
It appears that a fragility exists with this that existed beyond what I expected. Oh and the diagnosis is BiPolar type 2 (mixed) and I sort of get it but I dont get it, Im getting there ......... I have found it harder to communicate to folks recently and that included having to try and keep my head whilst at a wedding half way across the world.
I hope this answers the query, but Im aware its disjointed. T x
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