Well this week has been odd but actually feels like things are moving in the right direction. Up to and into the weekend I was low and anxious to some degree and occasionally overwhelming however it has subsided.
Then as I keep to the approach that I need to and progressing my medication to 6* what it was, im 2/3 of the way there Im trying to grasp hopefulness as I did 5-6 weeks ago.
Carol has pointed out to me that I was getting manic over the last 2 evenings and Its been key to try and keep that mania in check, taking PSR meds alongside my others and trying to identify the mania and just try and find a level ..... this is new to me because I havent been aware of the mania side properly before and my diagnosis now paints that as key alongside the depression.
Im not BiPolar ,I have BiPolar, type2 (mixed) and the approach appears different than when the diagnosis was Cyclythymia. In a way Im now not going to get over this BUT learn how to navigate this in my life as well as medicate to find an optimal level of being. Keeping my mood diary opens up my eyes on my navigation of this alongside all the other levers Im trying to pull ....... Its exhausting when the Anxiety is overwhelming /or/ its equally exhausting to some degree when you are trying to navigate your life. With stability hopefully I will relapse less and find my way.
A man called Toby Allen portrays BiPolar with some interesting words
~ http://metro.co.uk/2015/09/02/artist-imagines-what-mental-illnesses-would-look-like-as-cartoon-monsters-5372848/
https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/pic6.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&strip=all
1 comment:
Hi Tony, sleep eludes me tonight so I had time to read your blog. Your honesty is heart warming and I am so proud of you for being willing to talk about how you feel. Sounds like the revised diagnosis and techniques like the mood diary are giving you new insights into the pattern of your behaviour and the thoughts that drive it. Keep trusting that wise inner voice that tells you there is a way forward, even though it includes backward steps at times, the movement remains positive overall
Love
Lucy.
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