Wednesday 23 December 2015

Twelve Symptoms #2

I haven't had this hypomania for some time now, since I went back to work on my phased return I have been in a depressive plateau and haven't really had an overpowering episode of hypomania since October.  My problem/issue with hypomania is that I generally don't spot it in myself, it will overtake me and I will find myself buying lots of stuff online, not expensive things, but in volume a lot of small things, I find myself oversharing and overtalking people, I find myself suddenly compulsed to organise every social thing under the sun .......... theres other misc. outcomes along the same lines but what follows if this is not checked is the crash after the burn.

There may even be heightened senses of achievement which is in exact opposite to my depressive and anxietally driven belief that i'm absolute rubbish at my job/role/thing im doing.  Some people have said that they feel unstoppable, I dont think I have felt unstoppable but I have possibly become dynamically overproductive for these short hypomania driven bursts.

The crash that has followed has often seen me initially irritable and then low mood, anxietal prickly skin all over ....... etc



Im sure my experience is my experience and its possibly a lot different for other folks.



I would add that today,christmas eve eve 23rd December I'm feeling very mildly optimistic after a number of relatively good days.  Which is a nice basis for hopefully a reasonable christmas holiday.  x

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